- THE SMURFS: or Satan’s Midget Underground Rebellious Fascists.
- HUMPHREY B BEAR: This git doesn’t even wear any pants! Do you know why he is not allowed to talk? ‘Cause every second word the children’s idol says is either FUCK or CUNT! Oh, and by the way, B stands for Buttnuzzler.
- WIGGLES: We Induce Genital Glee Let’s Engage (in) Sadism. (Listen to their lyrics, these fuckers should be BANNED!)
- BUGS BUNNY: The bunny (the Playboy Bunny springs immediately to mind) that has a rather unhealthy obsession for cross-dressing and constantly eats, or is in pursuit of, phallic symbols.
- HE-MAN Many have argued that He-Man is actually Homosexual Effluence Man, this, however, is not true. It does, in fact, stand for Homogenisation Encouragement Man, the ideal of what the Man should be, strong, powerful, and waving his MAGIC SWORD all around the place. He-Man’s supposed sister (or whoever she is), who came a little later, SHE-RA, simply stands for Same Homogenisation Encouragement - Repeated Again.
- MIGHTY MORPHIN(E) POWER RANGERS: Very little to say about these drug-fucked anti-heros, the title says it all. Promoting violence and drug abuse, young boys idolise the corrupt franchise of MMPR (Media Marketing Propaganda Reprogramming).
- SESAME STREET: turns out to be an actual street in America, New York in fact, and is a famous hot-spot for drug selling, drug abuse, prostitution and gang violence. Several elements can be found with the show of the link between the two. The obvious, of course, being the junkie parallels in Oscar the Grouch and Bert (he can never get enough “oatmeal”). And to the Gang Lord, Big Bird (Snufalufagus ** being his bodyguard). The Count is a perfect model of a Pimp (always counting money, girls, designated times, ect.). Cookie Monster constantly has the munchies. Elmo, the new character, represents the relatively recent drugs such as Ecstasy, and other synthesised nasties. And I’m pretty sure Mr Hooper is a drug dealer, who is supplied by Ernie. And I’m not even going to tell you what Kermit the frog is into.
Only a very small, minute look at the bollocks our children are fed on a daily basis. We must STOP this insidious VIOLATION OF FREE WILL! What I want you to do now is DESTROY YOUR TELEVISION!!! Smash it to pieces, tiny bits, and bury it in Hallowed Ground. Do not let your children watch TV, give them more pure and safe material to learn from. Like the Bible.
** How the fuck do you spell that anyway? Incidentally, the name has an anti-homosexual meaning to it. Dissect it: SNUF ALu FAGuS (Snuff all fags!)